Success Isn’t About Feeling Ready—It’s About Showing Up

It’s that moment when everything feels too much, when walking away seems like the only logical option. I’ve been here before—many times. And I know that what I do next matters more than I realise in the moment.

I remember when I started my Master’s. I thought, Who am I kidding? Competing with recent grads rolling straight into a Master’s? Professionals in high-powered jobs balancing it all with ease? Meanwhile, I was struggling just to keep up with admin, readings, and lectures—all while working full-time. My manager told me I’d need at least two to three days off a week to study. I managed to negotiate just one. I stretched my hours, worked longer days, and somehow kept going.

Then, life happened. A sudden trip meant I fell behind. I came back completely overwhelmed, convinced this wasn’t for me. Why did I think I could do this? I was ready to quit. I told my lecturer.

Her response? You can quit if you want, but at least submit your first assignment. What’s the worst that can happen?

That small nudge of belief, her faith in me when I had none made me rethink everything. I submitted the assignment. I passed. One mark off a distinction.

That moment forced me to challenge my self-doubt. I continued, stumbling, struggling, and pushing through. And then, I hit the final boss: the dissertation.

I wasn’t prepared. I had never done scientific research before. My undergrad was in law, this was a whole different world. I burned out. I told my supervisor I was done. Who am I kidding? I can’t learn this in a few months.

Again, he told me I could quit if I wanted to. But you’re almost at the finish line. Hold on to the reason you started. Imagine yourself graduating.

And so, I pushed. I worked through exhaustion, cut myself off from everything, and finished. The moment I told my supervisor I’d earned a distinction for my dissertation, I could barely believe it. It felt surreal, like an out-of-body experience.

This whole journey taught me something I didn’t expect: Happiness isn’t a destination.

We think, I’ll be happy when… When I get the degree. When I get the job. When I have more time. When life is easier. But research in positive psychology tells us otherwise. Studies show that happiness is about the process, not the outcome (Lyubomirsky, 2007). When we place happiness in the future, we never truly reach it.

Martin Seligman’s PERMA model highlights five essential elements of wellbeing:

Positive emotions – even in the hardest times, finding moments of joy matters.

Engagement – being fully immersed in something challenging yet meaningful.

Relationships – the people who keep us going when we’re ready to quit.

Meaning – having a purpose beyond the struggle.

Achievement – not for external validation, but for proving to yourself that you can.

Research by Holt-Lunstad et al. (2010) found that strong social ties increase lifespan and resilience. The presence of mentors, friends, and support systems isn’t just helpful—it’s essential to our wellbeing.

Right now, I’m at another breaking point. I want to walk away. Instead, I’m reminding myself to lean on my resources—the people who support me, the lessons I’ve learned, and the resilience I’ve built along the way. One of those resources has been the work of Dr. Louise Lambert, a leading researcher in happiness and wellbeing in the Middle East. I came across her studies countless times during my own research, often late at night when I was exhausted and questioning everything. Her insights didn’t just inform my work—they gave me a sense of direction and renewed purpose. In many ways, her research became a guiding light in my journey, and for that, I’m truly grateful. It reminded me that sometimes, motivation comes from external sources when our internal battery is running low.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned—and one I always share with my clients—is the power of gratitude. In moments of struggle, it’s easy to focus on what’s missing, but shifting my perspective to what I have has been a game-changer. I am deeply grateful for the people who supported me through this journey, my family, my lecturers and professors at UEL, my incredibly encouraging supervisor, and the researchers whose work I pored over for hours, fueling my curiosity and shaping my understanding. Their guidance, wisdom, and belief in me made all the difference, and for that, I am truly thankful.

Ready or Not?

So, if you’re at that point, the I can’t do this moment, here’s my advice: Don’t make quitting your first choice. Seek support, lean on your connections, remind yourself why you started. The feeling of success may be brief, but the impact of perseverance lasts a lifetime.